The Old Illusions

by Nathaniel Bellows

supported by
Jason Gordon
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Jason Gordon So a while back I pre ordered S.K. Snider's Unremembered for which N. Bellows wrote the lyrics. I found this album through an interview S.K. Snider linked on twitter. The somber and sorrowful mood contained in the songs remind me of Irish ballads.

www.largeheartedboy.com/blog/archive/2015/07/author_kate_chr.html Favorite track: What Would You Do?.
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1.
Oh, Now 03:02
Oh, Now All I said was, "Lead the way!" and she forgave my old allegiance. Call it love or Novocain, you cannot win at life by being you. Evening comes like bleeding ink the palest pink gives in to bruising. Genius dying drink by drink I'd like to think it's not my doing. Oh, now the old illusions fade out and all I do is wait now for the news to come back in. Lay me down, lay me down, out there where the meadow dies in the autumn air. And save the crutch, save the crown for when I rise up from my sleep. And you're reaching out, and you say out loud: "I'm lost! Please come find me!" And I know it's brave, to know what you need, but when no one comes it's weak. Oh, now the rifle's firing, deer run for their brief lives the fear comes but it's only seasonally. And, oh, now the curtain's lifted, bring out your dumb and your gifted let's see how they'll choose whom to believe Oh, I see...
2.
Modern Days 04:11
Modern Days Hey, can you hold this? It turned from gold to stone, then it turned from bone to mold in a day. The same sad components are: “Oh, you can never go home” and “So, well, you’re living all alone, its a way to save.” See how it’s falling? Up in the sky like a starling, oh, dont you worry little darling it stays Up in the clouds, over the heads of the crowd, even when they’re crying aloud to be saved. Can we say that we’ll all be forgiven some day coming soon? And does it follow to say then tomorrow’s halfway in the room? Can this extend to include the end, or is that too sad to do? To do Yes, that was wasteful: me waiting there at your table see all I got served was a face-full of foam. But I will not starve, I’ve got the hardened heart that keeps me alive past the part I go home. And the wall in the house gave way under the weight of the modern day and the howl of love remained, inside the weight of the modern pain and the tin cups and length of string and we never could hear a thing Can we say that we’ll all be forgiven some day coming soon? And does it follow to say then tomorrow’s halfway in the room? Can this extend to include the end, or is that too sad to do? To do
3.
At Sea 03:57
At Sea In the end, lack of wind, combined with falling tide and rising waves. Did us in, and just when, the gods were on their way to intervene. And when they come, they come on wings of doves and say the kind of things like: "Love will save you from the pain you've known!" And when they go, they leave forlorn, the things that had once made them strong, abandoned them like a child out in the cold. But who's to say they'd come that way? And who's to say they'd come or even care? And who's to know if a life down below, wouldn't suit us more than a life in open air? Because when we dream it's blue and green, with silver lines etched in between, and everything's a painting to be framed. And when we wake, the dream's escaped the colors all just bleed to gray, and nothing's left to move us but the train. In the end, for all we planned, we wound up floating lost out on the sea. And all our friends would bow their heads, and vowed to keep us in their memories. Because if we fall or if we fly, the time that we spend wondering why is nothing to the time still in our hands. And if I thrive or if I die, I want you all to know I tried— I tried my best to make you understand.
4.
Reel 03:24
Reel All it is, is synthesis the field of golden grain. And all it says is: "Bring the wind! So I can sing my name!" But the need was seamless, which seems impossible. And the needle sees this and sees what's never sewn. Come to the edge of the sea where it's glow, glowing; when the dogs come, they're following me they say "Go, just go in!" You can see in the darkness with the lamp in the fold of the coat, And I was being self conscious when I told you I'd go it alone. Long they lay alone awake and long may they still dream. And I'm sorry the sum wasn't one of the wonders you know you're owed, but for every gem there's a hundred of them to say no And the war is through they lied to you And the coin is cut in two they lied to you And your love will have no use they lied to you And to them it's all truth these lies to you
5.
Who Made It So By the time you wake the spring is gone, leave the lamb leave the lion alone. Leave off the man who’s lying there bleeding alone Keep the light inside the high window can you believe the time I fell down in the road? Hold the injured limb I came to see as broken gems in skin. If only you’d let them in how lonely how lovely But you’re somebody who made it so. You’re somebody who made it so. Who made it so?
6.
The Reason 04:25
The Reason And the common key was C the cloud carved out of me And the alarm rang through the street the sound drowned out the free Did somebody somewhere just use my name? In the way one would say: “I now know me!” To wonder would only renew this pain: It’s me on the end of the phone the reason may never be known Here’s a lie: I’ll see you soon Here, I’ll try to spend the night the whole way through But if life is given by something still hidden then who wants to die with the “why” unassumed? Could somebody somewhere just soothe my brain? The thundering thoughts and the silence Could somebody love me with all this shame? The mirror will sever the soul the reason may never be known Here it is, the image, from the start to the finish the tolling bell, the cobra, the rolling gull no one knows this so Lord, don’t tell. It begins with the symbol, the straw on the spindle the golden cell, “One moment,” I told myself, “It was broken before I fell…” Did somebody somewhere presume the end? All in a moment of longing? It’s just what you choose when you lose, my friend. Say: All is calm Say: Now, I’ll go Take solace from The reason we never will know
7.
What Would You Do? Well, they came uncovered, the boy and his mother; the story, the luggage, the stone. And she raised him heavy with Jesus and red meat, the fear of the deadbeat the drone. And the girl would wonder throughout Sunday supper: "Is this how my life is to be?" The house stood static from basement to attic; the placemats where no one would eat... But it takes so long to say sorry, and it builds in your body and poisons you. And you wake alone in the darkness and scream "I have got this! I know the truth!" But if you had only one moment to give back that torment, what would you do? And the lake looked amber, the water the sandbar, the slaughter of what had run wild. In the eyes, in the antlers, on the wall, on the mantle, so dead to the child, so alive... So alive, like they always would be and so tied to the family tree, and the light that will always still lead them back home. So alive, as they prayed they would be and still tied to that family tree and the light that will always still lead them back home. And the cars rolled slowly through the town to the hole they made, where the cold came down like a coin. And the view of the pond, but is it true that the beyond is the just home of all the ones we can’t avoid? Cause it takes so long to say sorry, and it builds in your body and poisons you. And you wake alone in the darkness and scream "I have got this! I know the truth!" But if you had only one moment to give back that torment, what would you do? What would you do now?
8.
The Calm 04:13
The Calm In the fall of that fold in that faded old photo in the hall of that home with the yard and those willows. And they prayed every day for that face to appear at the door; So afraid, well, that maybe the day had just come and then gone... In the school with the pupils and numerals in rows and all the rules for the fools and the rules for the prose. And they say when you age, well, your brain just gives way at eighteen and the way it is then is the way that it always will be... There you go now but if you wait a moment longer I'll come along. And you will show us how That if you wait a moment longer, then it's gone. On the street there's a siren and songbird and horn, and always someone who is dragging themselves home alone. And you say they will pay for the way they discouraged your dreams But it won't mean a thing because it won't bring you any relief… The calm and the psalm and salt that's thrown over the shoulder of the saddest of soldier who's carving the doll from the soap in the stall of his horse... The wish and the kiss the admission you cling to that note like the carrier pigeon who's flying alone in the thick of the storm in the dark... And the scene in the dream where nothing is changing, but everything's changing or so it seems... There you go now and if you wait a moment longer, please, bring me along. You will show us how That if you wait a moment longer, then it's gone. If you wait a moment longer, then it’s gone.

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The debut album by Nathaniel Bellows, featuring 8 original songs and arrangements by Aaron Roche, Alex Sopp, David Garland,
Julie Lee & Dan Burns, and DM Stith.

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released January 22, 2016

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Nathaniel Bellows New York, New York

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www.nathanielbellows.com

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