Swan and Wolf

by Nathaniel Bellows

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Jason Gordon
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Jason Gordon Swan and wolf is giving me the chills. My body is totally ready for March 30th 2018. 😉
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1.
Only Love 03:38
Only Love If it’s need to know you will make me wait with the curtains closed while you celebrate But only love it’s only love Sews the seam so everything’s enclosed Pulls the string unraveling it all from here And the blade in bloom the leer in laugh so with every bruise well, this too must pass… But only love it’s only love: Signs its name across the same window Kindly breaks to dove but not to stone or fear A combination of calm and storm Some salvation from being all alone When you keep me like the seedling’s spike with only moon to grow How highly meaningful for a type who preaches love but keeps their eyes set keenly on the road and the mirror Who underwrites all this fate? Who do I fight to get paid? And who still believes there’s a whole to be made with some little features on somebody’s face? Who asks in earnest not shame: “Who will be waiting for me?” And who will undo and who will remake the things we get through and the things we can’t shake? So, there it is “Oh, no!” I said And there it stays “Okay…. okay.”
2.
How High 04:25
How High And in time I would decide that a life designs a life Who knows it? Who knows it? And the way of swan and wolf I would say I need them both because I love it I love it Here we have today And here’s those days ahead And here’s the past unreachable undead And for all that inner peace slow death by vanity When you lose it you will lose it Or an argument for our souls over souls of animals Then prove it just prove it Here we have the case of fear unbound to fate And I merely no, sincerely know my way Come on, now the secret’s out the seed grew something dead No wonder why the college try will leave you left in debt Now should we untie this cord and cup? Because it seems that well was dry Wouldn’t we be wise to hold this up? Say how high
3.
Add to This 03:37
Add to This All it was was time within some space Call it practical or cowardice Meaning: I could see the light of day Meaning: I would leave and run away All it was were days with X’s drawn Call it clerical a job for one Believe me I can hear that lonesome song Believe me freedom comes when pain is gone Add to this your smile that rainy night we fit inside my coat combined our gait to make it back uptown Add to this the reason it’s a lie a catch that someone such as I would let this God damned guard come down I’m not alone I’m not the only one All it was was memory in cells Call it what you want, it haunts me still Reel the line and free what cannot breathe Maybe give it time to see what might be seen? Add to this The way you fit inside inset all splayed and pitched astride and knit our fingers in a braid Add to this that cooling in July no sense no way to wonder why unless you know a shadowed brain No way to win No way back in But I’ll say it Admit it again: I miss that long lost friend
4.
To Wait 04:37
To Wait Wait, whoa, is it sound? Is it serious? Come clean, come lead me on Take hold of the calm, of the curious child you were before And in case there’s a way To delay the fall I won’t I will make everyday a kind of call to arm But where do we belong? In prayer or in the wilds of song? And take this moment: Take To wait Wait, no, Is it solved? Is it spurious? How can we be both? Stay home where you’re warm, where you worried us far from me to know… And the name’s in the shape of that faded farm I loved But how do you know which symbol will hold? It’s simple: Just leave the laws unlearned And here here rears the horse In fear and to hide the foal And take this notion at face To wait And here all reason folds I kneel at the mouth of love So take this ocean Wave by wave by wave To wait
5.
Keep In Mind 04:35
Keep In Mind Blame the lunacy that comes over me I was sold, you see, long ago And the bruise will be how you’ll remember me but like everything it’s on loan So let the feeling fade like the man we made made of things we saved made of snow Take the soul therein take the skeleton take the wreck I’ve been let it go Oh, the more you need it the weakness deepens I’ve been leaning away from want But I’ve seen the seabirds flying seaward all they need was to know true north Then the call went out more a sigh than shout more like dying while the babe is born then the seed was shot I was seeing stars and I stole your car to be alone Oh, but now it’s this analogous to the sound you’re missing most And now see how it’s growing So silent? So stoic? The storm folded into the stone Oh, somehow you knew it like the ground intuits every rise, every nuance of plow And the lie’s in place to keep them all away ‘til you can raise up your face and be proud Be proud Send a word or note I can come back home and in the land I love I am known Let me sleep and dream like the serpentine black and blue and green down below
6.
What Then 03:35
What Then Somebody should say it’s rarely you The thundering display of their abuse Meanwhile the seeds of bile will seep in Coldly laid in holes first made for feeling Numbering the ways they told you so Can somebody explain the palindrome? (No) Feed the fire and heave a sigh you’re breathing Most would make that old mistake of bleeding Come and see the oldest oak laid out on the lawn One disease it all it took to call the spade and saw And when the people say “All is equal! Everyone is flawed!” (Say that all you want) What they mean is: “Well, I’ve made my peace (there is no peace) with all I could not stop.” (just lightning in the dark) But God It’s not I’m not
7.
I Awoke 02:46
I Awoke “Oh, let me in!” the sea would sigh in the sound again Unloyal friend you read it right I won’t be back again (How) Let it be lost the world was never new enough Lay low like dust Lie between the seam of thing and thought And when the vow was made the note appeared And when the soul was saved it grew a tear And when the promise breaks the words would rise up off the page now, do you hear? I’ve come to know truth as more a door and less the roof but I can’t forgive you… And you don’t know why and I don’t know what to do “Again!” they said and held me to the ground “Amen!” the angels sang from stingy clouds And then I rose the ruined ghost that no one knew and no one figured out The will became the wheel became the spoke And more would be revealed but I awoke to a scene still flickering it could be sickening or all that I’m owed All that I’m owed Am I owed?
8.
It Wasn't 03:03
It Wasn’t It wasn’t love, it was some other thought, to believe, then chase away. It wasn’t love, it was work under law and all seemingly unpaid And the kennel will house the hound of it. The killer will crave the chase. The mentally sound will take the hint. A little less every day It wasn’t love, well, for you, it was plot. It was: Keep the kid encaged. And for all I was: underserved, overdubbed, there was dreaming underway And the pillow will haul the head to sleep. The willow will yield the cane. The minnow knows every enemy. The linen feels every stain But who knows the name? And how will we believe it? And who loves the same? And how do we release it? How do we release the chain? It was assumed I would do what I do, which is: Keep the meaning vague. (Of all the useless, convoluted things of me to say) And the riddle will solve the argument. In the middle of night, in sleep. We all thought the perfect love would just mean everything But who knows the name? And how will we believe it? And who loves the same? And how do we release it? How do we release the chain?
9.
The Dove 03:18
The Dove I can’t believe my luck my loss, my love To find you lying broken on the lawn I’d seen your cry incised on the windowpane It seems like you were flying into the grave And on the grass enrobed in jewels of dew And on the glass a ghosted, gauzed, cartoon How clean there is a lie, how clean the break It seems I was meant to find you and be changed Out of every calling there calls in cry or quiet Out of every killing their cues the clue And in every image there isn’t an end but I end I end up haunting you it ends up haunting you It took me days to move you from that place But your shape remained through days of wind and rain No need now to remind I can explain: The fear that I would die and leave no trace
10.
In Time 05:00
In Time Slowly now, as slow as time will go. See the sun set scenes upon the snow. And when they laid him down, they let him go Please, believe me—all the lies and all deceiving. Say so and tea leaves, all aligned to keep from feeling. But make no mistake, there’s a code to this: in time, you’ll see it solved. In time, you’ll know it all Slowly now, so slow, no one will see. Silver strands of twilight, blackening. And when they took her hand, she said: Save me Keep this secret—keep and hide all key, all reason. Paint over ceilings, with a sky untied to meaning. But break free of faith, and how the old book says: In time, the kingdom calls In time, you will belong Lead away, down the lawn to the garden gate. To the breach outside the bay. Where the sea is widening. And the wild geese on the waves. I just need some time to say… Leave it be, then. Leave a light on just for me when, you take your leave, friend, from the fight, to flight, to freedom. But wait one more day, because no one told me this: In time, you will be loved In time, you will feel love

about

"Swan and Wolf" is the second album from novelist, poet, visual artist, and musician, Nathaniel Bellows. Songs on the record feature arrangements and performances by Timo Andres (piano), David Garland (bass guitar), Michael Hammond (electronics), Kid Millions (percussion), and Padma Newsome (strings). Each of the ten songs on the album are accompanied by an illustration by Nathaniel Bellows. To see the complete artwork--and to read the lyrics--please visit: www.swanandwolfmusic.com

credits

released March 30, 2018

Produced and recorded by Nathaniel Bellows
Mixed by Brian Losch
Mastered by Rob Murray
Recorded in Maine and NYC, NY USA

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Nathaniel Bellows New York, New York

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www.nathanielbellows.com

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